Whether simply stalling, or engaging in full-fledged power struggles, children often resist going to bed at night. This can turn bedtimes into a stressful time for both child and parent. If this transition is becoming a source of conflict, here are a few things to consider;

1. Routine.
Bedtime routines really help children get ready for sleep. About an hour before, find a series of steps and rituals that signal to your child that bedtime is approaching. The specific rituals are not so important, but easing children into their bedtime routine helps wind them down. This hour before bed is also a great time for parents and children to do something special. Reading books together, snuggling in bed while watching T.V. or anything else that brings you together will create a positive experience and decrease the misbehavior when going to sleep.

2. Dim the lights.
As you go through the bedtime routine begin to lower the lights; another signal that communicates to the body that it is time to sleep.

3. Slow things down.
The closer you get to bedtime the less active your routine can become. Perhaps you begin with brushing teeth and putting on pajamas, move to reading a book together and end with a back rub with the lights turned down.

4. Provide warnings and set limits
You may have to provide some warnings that bedtime is approaching and also set limits about how many bedtime activities are allowed. When kids are stalling you will want to remind them of how many minutes left until they go to bed.

5. Enjoy the process.
Perhaps the most important part of this. The more you enjoy the bedtime ritual, the easier it will be to reduce the power struggles. If you are rushing to get them down so you can finish up a project, you may find their resistance increases. If you find yourself becoming embroiled in a power struggle, take a breath and relax. See if you can maintain your enjoyment of the process. The less you react to the stalling and attention-getting, the less they will be inclined to misbehave.

6. When all else fails, take a break.
If you get to the breaking point and cannot continue without becoming angry or frustrated, it may be time to change things up. Can your spouse takeover and give you some relief? If no one is there to help, maybe stop trying. This may seem counter-intuitive, as if you have lost. But if you have established a good bedtime ritual, which works almost every night, there is no harm in breaking it once in a while. You may find that in a half hour you have taken a break, feel recharged, and your child is more ready to sleep.

Some Bed Time Rituals

Brushing teeth
Putting on pajamas
Reading a book together
Watching t.v. together
Playing a game
Getting clothes ready for tomorrow
Back / head rubs
Preparing the bed together
Telling a story
Having a special bedtime animal, blanket or pillow

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